It is an accepted fact in our society that it is very difficult to stop smoking. Even books advising
you how to do so usually start off by telling you how difficult it is. The truth is that it is ridiculously
easy. Yes, I can understand your questioning that statement, but just consider it. If your aim is to run a mile in under four minutes, that's difficult. You may have to undergo years of hard training, and even then you may be physically incapable of doing it. (Much of our achievement lies in the mind. Isn't it strange how difficult it was until Bannister actually did it but nowadays it is commonplace?)
However, in order to stop smoking all you have to do is not smoke any more. No one forces you to
smoke (apart from yourself) and, unlike food or drink, you don't need it to survive. So if you want to stop doing it, why should it be difficult? In fact, it isn't. It is smokers who make it difficult by using the Willpower Method. I define the Willpower Method as any method that forces the smoker to
feel he is making some sort of sacrifice. Let us just consider the Willpower Method.
We do not decide to become smokers. We merely experiment with the first few cigarettes and
because they taste awful we are convinced that we can stop whenever we want to. In the main, we
smoke those first few cigarettes only when we want to. and that is usually in the company of other
smokers on social occasions.
Before we realize it, we are not only buying them regularly and smoking when we want to, we
are smoking every day. Smoking has become a part of our lives. We ensure that we always have
cigarettes on our person. We believe that social occasions and meals are improved by them and that
they help to relieve stress. It doesn't seem to occur to us that the same cigarette out of the same
packet will taste exactly the same after a meal as it does first thing in the morning. In fact smoking
neither improves meals and social occasions nor does it relieve stress, it's just that smokers
believe they can't enjoy a meal or handle stress without a cigarette.
It usually takes us a long time to realize that we are hooked because we suffer from the illusion
that smokers smoke because they enjoy a cigarette, not because they have to have a cigarette. While
we are not enjoying them (which we never do), we suffer from the illusion that we can stop whenever
we want to.
Usually it is not until we actually try to stop that we realize a problem exists. The first attempts to
stop are more often than not in the early days and are usually triggered off by shortage of money (boy
meets girl and they are saving to set up home and do not want to waste money on cigarettes) or health
(the teenager is still active in sport and finds he is short of breath). Whatever the reason, the smoker
always waits for a stressful situation, whether it be health or money. As soon as he stops, the little
monster needs feeding. The smoker then wants a cigarette, and because he cannot have one this
makes him more distressed. The thing he usually takes to relieve stress is now not available, so he
suffers a triple blow. The probable result after a period of torture is the compromise I'll cut down' or
'I've picked the wrong time' or I'll wait until the stress has gone from my life.' However, once the
stress has gone, he has no need to stop and doesn't decide to do so again until the next stressful time.
Of course, the time is never right because life for most people doesn't become less stressful; it
becomes more so. We leave the protection of our parents and enter the world of setting up home,
taking on mortgages, having children, more responsible jobs, etc. Of course, the smoker's life can
never become less stressful because it is the cigarette that actually causes stress. As the smoker's
rate of nicotine intake rises, the more distressed he becomes and the greater the illusion of his
dependency becomes.
In fact, it is an illusion that life becomes more stressful, and it's the smoking itself, or a similar
crutch, that creates the illusion. This will be discussed in greater detail in chapter 28.
After the initia l failures the smoker usually relies on the possibility that one day he will wake up
and just not want to smoke any more. This hope is usually kindled by the stories that he has heard
about other ex-smokers (e.g. 'I had a bout of flu and afterwards I didn't want to smoke anymore').
Don't kid yourself. I have probed all of these rumors, and they are never quite as simple as they
appear. Usually the smoker has already been preparing himself to stop and merely used the flu as a
springboard, I spent thirty-odd years waiting to wake up one morning wanting never to smoke again.
Whenever I had a bad chest I would look forward to its ending because it was interfering with my
smoking.
More often in the case of people who stop 'just like that' they have suffered a sho ck. Perhaps a
close relative has died from a cigarette-related disease or they have had a scare themselves. It is so
much easier to say, 'I just decided to stop one day. That's the sort of chap I am.' Stop kidding
yourself! It won't happen unless you make it happen.
Let's consider in greater detail why the Willpower Method is so difficult. For most of our lives
we adopt the head- in-the-sand, I'll stop tomorrow' approach.
At odd times something will trigger off an attempt to stop. It may be concern about health, money,
social stigma or we may have been going through a particularly heavy bout of choking and realize
that we don't actually enjoy it.
Whatever the reason, we take our head out of the sand and start weighing up the pros and cons of
smoking. We then find out what we have known all our lives: on a rational assessment the
conclusion is, a dozen times over, STOP SMOKING.
If you were to sit down and give points out often to all the advantages of stopping and do a similar
exercise with the advantages of smoking, the total point count for stopping would far outweigh the
disadvantages.
However, although the smoker knows that he will be better off as a non-smoker, he does believe
that he is making a sacrifice. Although it is an illusion, it is a powerful illusion. The smoker doesn't
know why, but he believes that during the good times and the bad times of life the cigarette does
appear to help.
Before he starts the attempt he has the brainwashing of our society, reinforced by the
brainwashing of his own addiction. To these must be added the even more powerful brainwashing of
how difficult it is to give up'.
He has heard stories of smokers who have stopped for many months and are still desperately craving
a cigarette. There are all the disgruntled stoppers (people who stop and then spend the rest of their
lives bemoaning the fact that they'd love a cigarette). He has heard of smokers who have stopped for
many years, apparently leading happy lives, but have one cigarette and are suddenly hooked again.
Probably he also knows several smokers in the advanced stages of the disease who are visibly
destroying themselves and are clearly not enjoying cigarettes yet they continue to smoke. Added to
all this, he has probably already suffered one or more of these experiences himself.
So, instead of starting with the feeling 'Great! Have you heard the news? I haven't got to smoke
any more,' he starts with a feeling of doom and gloom, as if he were trying to climb Everest, and he
firmly believes that once the little monster has got his hooks into you, you are hooked for life. Many
smokers even start the attempt by apologizing to their friends and relatives: 'Look. I am trying to
give up smoking. I will probably be irritable during the next few weeks. Try to bear with me,' Most
attempts are doomed before they start.
Let's assume that the smoker survives a few days without a cigarette. The congestion is rapidly
disappearing from his lungs. He hasn't bought cigarettes and consequently has more money in his
pocket. So the reasons why he decided to stop in the first place are rapidly disappearing from his
thoughts. It is like seeing a bad road accident when you are driving. It slows you down for a while,
but the next time you are late for an appointment you have forgotten all about it and your foot stamps
on the throttle.
On the other side of the tug of war, that little monster inside your stomach hasn't had his fix. There
is no physical pain; if you had the same feeling because of a cold, you wouldn't stop working or get
depressed. You would laugh it off. All the smoker knows is that he wants a cigarette. Quite why it is
so important to him he doesn't know. The little monster in the stomach then starts off the big monster
in the mind, and now the person who a few hours or days earlier was listing all the reasons to stop
is desperately searching for any excuse to start again. Now he is saying things like:
1 Life is too short. The bomb could go off, I could step under a bus tomorrow. I have left it too
late. They tell you everything gives you cancer these days.
2 I have picked the wrong time. I should have waited until after Christmas/after my
holidays/after this stressful event, in my life. 1 cannot concentrate, I am getting irritable and
bad tempered. I cannot do my job properly. My family and friends won't love me. Let's face it,
for everybody's sake I have got to start smoking again. I am a confirmed smoker and there is no
way I will ever be happy again without a cigarette. (This one kept me smoking for thirtythree
years.)
At this stage the smoker usually gives in. He lights a cigarette and the schizophrenia increases.
On the one hand there is the tremendous relief of ending the craving, when the little monster finally
gets his fix; on the other hand, if he has survived a long time, the cigarette tastes awful and the
smoker cannot understand why he is smoking it. This is why the smoker thinks he lacks willpower.
In fact, it is not lack of willpower; all he has done is to change his mind and make a perfectly-rational
decision in the light of the latest information. What's the point of being healthy if you are miserable?
What is the point of being rich if you are miserable? Absolutely none. Far better to have a shorter
enjoyable life than a lengthy miserable life.
Fortunately, that is not true - just the reverse. Life as a non-smoker is infinitely more enjoyable,
but it was this delusion that kept me smoking for thirty-three years, and I must confess, if that were the
true situation. I would still be smoking (correction -I wouldn't be here).
The misery that the smoker is suffering has nothing to do with withdrawal pangs. True, they trigger
them off, but the actual agony is in the mind and it is caused by doubt and uncertainty. Because the
smoker starts by feeling he is making a sacrifice, he begins to feel deprived -this is a form of stress.
One of the times when his brain tells him, 'Have a cigarette,' is a time of stress. Therefore as soon as he
stops, he wants a cigarette. But now he can't have one because he has stopped smoking. This makes
him more depressed, which sets the trigger off again.
Another thing that makes it so difficult is the waiting for something to happen. If your object is to
pass a driving test, as soon as you have passed the test it is certain you have achieved your object.
Under the Willpower Method you say, 'If I can go long enough without a cigarette, the urge to smoke
will eventually go.'
How do you know when you have achieved it? The answer is that you never do because you are
waiting for something to happen and nothing else is going to happen. You stopped when you smoked
that last cigarette, and what you are really doing now is waiting to see how long it will be before you
give in.
As I said above, the agony that the smoker undergoes is mental, caused by the uncertainty. Although
there is no physical pain, it still has a powerful effect. The smoker is miserable and feeling insecure.
Par from forgetting about smoking his mind becomes obsessed with it.
There can be days or even weeks of black depression. His mind is obsessed with doubts and fears.
'How long will the craving last?'
'Will I ever be happy again?'
'Will 1 ever want to get up in the morning?'
'Will I ever enjoy a meal again?'
'How will I ever cope with stress in future?'
'Will I ever enjoy a social function again?'
The smoker is waiting for things to improve, but of course while he is still moping, the cigarette is
becoming more precious.
In fact, something does happen, but the smoker isn't conscious of it. If he can survive three weeks
without inhaling any nicotine at all, the physical craving for nicotine disappears. However, as
stated before, the pangs of withdrawal from nicotine are so mild that the smoker isn't aware of them.
But after about three weeks many smokers sense that they have 'kicked it'. They then light a
cigarette to prove it, and it does just that. It tastes awful, but the ex-smoker has now supplied nicotine
to the body, and as soon as he extinguishes that cigarette the nicotine starts to leave the body.
There is now a little voice at the back of his mind saying, 'You want another one.' In fact, he had
kicked it but now he has hooked himself again.
The smoker will not usually light another cigarette immediately. He thinks, I don't want to get
hooked again.' So he allows a safe period to pass. It might be hours, days, even weeks. The ex-smoker
can now say, 'Well, I didn't get hooked, so I can safely have another.' He has fallen into the same
trap as he did in the first place and is already on the slippery slope.
Smokers who succeed under the Willpower Method tend to find it long and difficult because the
main problem is the brainwashing, and long after the physical addiction has died the smoker is
still moping about cigarettes. Eventually, if he can survive long enough, it begins to dawn on him that
he is not going to give in. He stops moping and accepts that life goes on and is enjoyable without the
cigarette.
Many smokers are succeeding with this method, but it is difficult and arduous, and there are many
more failures than successes. Even those who do succeed go through the rest of their lives in a
vulnerable state. They are left with a certain amount of the brainwashing and believe that during
good and bad times the cigarette can give you a boost. (Most non-smokers also suffer from that
illusion. They are subjected to the brainwashing also but either find they cannot learn to ;enjoy'
smoking or don't want the bad side, thank you very much.) This explains why many smokers who
have stopped for long periods start smoking again.
Many ex-smokers will have the occasional cigar or cigarette either as a 'special treat' or to convince
themselves how awful they are. It does exactly that, but as soon as they put it out the nicotine starts
to leave and a little voice at the back of their mind is saying, 'You want another one.' If they light,
another one, it still tastes awful and they say, 'Marvelo us! While I am not enjoying them I won't get
hooked. After Christmas/ the holiday/this trauma, I will stop,'
Too late. They are already hooked. The trap that they fell into in the first place has claimed its
victim again.
As I keep saying, enjoyment doesn't come into it. It never did! If we smoked because we enjoyed it,
nobody would ever smoke more than one cigarette. We assume we enjoy them only because we cannot
believe we would be so stupid as to smoke if we didn't enjoy them. This is why so much of our
smoking is subconscious. If. while smoking every cigarette, you were aware of the foul fumes going
into your lungs and you had to say to yourself, 'This is going to cost £50,000 in my lifetime, and this
cigarette might just be the one to trigger off cancer in my lungs,' even the illusion of enjoyment
would go. When we try to block our minds to the bad side, we feel stupid. If we had to face up to it,
that would be intolerable! If you watch smokers, particularly at social functions, you will see that
they are happy only when they are not aware that they are smoking. Once they become aware of it,
they tend to be uncomfortable and apologetic. We smoke to feed that little monster ... and once you
have purged the little monster from your body and the big monster from your brain, you will have
neither need nor desire to smoke.