Another of the great joys of quitting the weed is to be free of those sinister black shadows at the
back of our minds. All smokers know they are mugs and close their minds to the ill-effects of smoking. For most of our lives smoking is automatic, but the black shadows are always lurking in our subconscious minds, just beneath the surface. There are several marvelous advantages to achieve from quitting smoking. Some of them I was
consciously aware of throughout my smoking life, such as the health risks, the waste of money and
the sheer stupidity of being a smoker. However, such was my fear of quitting, so obsessed was I in
resisting all the attempts of do-gooders and anyone else who tried to persuade me to quit, that all my
imagination and energy were directed to finding any flimsy excuse that would allow me to continue
to smoke. Amazingly, my most ingenious thoughts occurred when I was actually trying to quit. They were of
course inspired by the fear and misery I suffered when attempting to quit by using willpower. No
way could I block my mind from the health and financial aspects. But now that I am free it amazes
me how 1 successfully blocked my mind from even more important advantages to be gained from
quitting. I've already mentioned the sheer slavery - spending half our lives being allowed to smoke,
doing it automatically and wishing we had never started, the other half feeling miserable and deprived
because society won't allow us to smoke. In the last chapter I've referred to the incredible joy of
having energy again. But for me the greatest joy of being free was not the health, the money, the
energy, or the ending of the slavery, it was the removal of those sinister black shadows, the removal
of feeling despised by and feeling apologetic to non-smokers, and most of all to be able to respect
yourself.
Most smokers aren't the weak-willed, spineless jellyfish that both society and themselves tend to
believe. In every other aspect of my life I was in control. I loathed myself for being dependent on an
evil weed that I knew was ruining my life. I cannot tell you of the utter joy of being free of those
sinister black shadows, the dependency and the self-despising. I can't tell you how nice it is to be
able to look at all other smokers, whether they be young, old, casual or heavy, not with a feeling
of envy, but with a feeling of pity for them and elation for you that you are no longer the slave of
that insidious weed.
The last two chapters have dealt with the considerable advantages of being a non-smoker. I
feel it necessary to give a balanced account, so the next chapter lists the advantages of being a
smoker.